#TBT

Hah!  I found these awesome photos from a while ago today when I was looking for photos to redesign this bland blog, just thought I would share.

"Everybody pretend you got dip in yo mouf" - Grant Ortman

These are from one of my favorite First Fridays that Grant and I attended with friends, Jason Karn and Ryan Palo.  Location:  Cowgirl Cash which happens to be our favorite place to visit during this event!

Eventually, Grant will come back in true ranting form...I hope!!

Nothing's going on...

Grant's birthday is coming up, other than that nothing's really happening at the moment.


I just thought I would share a depressing moment the other day.

Here is my screenshot.

Billem Wecker - a Man, a Myth, a Legend

Vanessa here,

It's been a while since we posted anything.  

Currently, Grant's best friend Will is in town and I have noticed quite the love-hate relationship with them.  Mostly love.  It's adorable.  Will has been in Boston for quite some time now and let us know that his lack of fitness due school was in full effect and to recommend some short "Rumneyesk*" style routes so that he is not completely shut down.  Grant ignored his request, thus putting Will on routes requiring a 70 meter rope in the park.  Will was beginning to question his friendship with Grant and I of course got to laugh at both of their expense.

It appears that Will's payback towards Grant was to heckle (in front of Grant's "homies") and convince him that for $60 to shave his hair into a mullet.  Grant being the man that I know at least, never backs down from a challenge. 

For example, the Cinnamon challenge* here:



Granted, at this point he might have accepted the challenge to impress me...who knows.

God, I love him but he sure is silly sometimes.

Willem goes home tomorrow.  Grant and I are both pretty sad about it but hopefully he will come back soon. *cough to live here cough*

Vocabulary-
Rumneyesk - climbing routes that are shorter than 50 feet...very uncommon for Smith Rock.

Cinnamon challenge - take a tablespoon of cinnamon and try to eat it without drinking water.

Not so Disposable

I love a good disposable camera, I love it when memories flash before your eyes at a moments notice because you are reminded that that moment was captured.  I'm like a kid in a candy store, barely able to contain my excitement when opening my yellow envelope containing my forgotten moments.  I can hardly make it out the door without shouting at Grant, "Ha!  Look at this!!"

I just recently got a camera developed, here are some pictures.

Friends:

What is awesome about this photo is how hard it was for Daniel to be away from Rachel.  Even though we were out doing something we all loved, he insisted on making her apart of the experience.

Julie, Daniel, and Rachel (on phone) 

Grant, Chris Sinatra, Aaron Tague, and Josh Duda have been friends for more than a decade, it definitely becomes some sort of a spectacle when they all get together.

Climbing at Smith and climbing in general:  

This was captured just moments after my send of Full Heinous!

Classic "Vanessa Pose" by Grant and Ryan!

Thats all for now!  Now off to Riggins!!

Shaking it up!

I feel this blog has gone soft!  It's titled Grant Rants and Vanessa Listens so where have all the rants been?  Did they take a wrong turn at Albuquerque?  Have I gone soft?  Am I living a life where there are no complaints and nothing to truly rant about?

Even though I have a great life I seriously doubt I have nothing to complain about.  There are things I see everyday that I rant about and tear down for one reason or another.  The problem is I forget what it was that I was ranting about before I get back to the computer... Well times have changed and I remembered for once.

HOLLYWOOD HANS FLORINE!!!!@@##$$%YTERG$%^!!!

Yuji and Hans (photo from google)

OK, I'm assuming that anyone that looks at climbing magazines or web sites has heard the news about the latest speed ascent of the nose in Yosemite CA.  It's something that is seriously an endeavor that I could not do.  Personally it would be amazing if I could get up the nose in a day and I would consider it a lifetime accomplishment.  I by no means think I could do what these people do, but none the less I must fit the name of this blog and rant properly. Anyway after that on to the rant portion of this blog post


Hollywood Hans Florine.  Isn't he from the bay area? How the hell did he get the Hollywood nick name?   Shouldn't it be more like Haight Ashbury Florine or Golden Gate Florine?  The nick name overall isn't my biggest complaint though.  My biggest complaint involves the fact that no one seems to promote quite like Hans for these speed ascents, but no one has ever recruited as well as Hans.


I'm pretty sure I could get up the nose in around eight hours flat if I tied a rick shaw to the back of Alex Honnold and told him to pull my happy ass up the face.  I could be drinking a mojito while getting pulled up the changing corners. Yuji Hiryama can probably do a one arm while freeing the great roof while I jug up the rope behind him.  Basically Hans I feel has been brilliant in his choice of partners for this glorified boat race.  He has chose the best yet somehow takes most of the credit.

Now its a call to arms.  How about this idea.  I convince Yuji and Alex to team up and work on the speed record.  During there training I get super emaciated on a all mineral water and saltine diet(only rinse the water and never drink since water is heavy).  On the day of the ascent I strap my emaciated ass to the back of Alex(of course there will be a Grant change over half way to where I will be on Yuji's back, don't want one of them to get to tired) and spur there fit crack climbing strong mo asses up the wall.  During said ascent I will constantly be tweeting, facebooking, myspacing,carrier pigeoning(i think I made up a word),  calling randoms, and also of course cheering my chariots on.  Once we get to the top of course I will take credit for the awesome sauce speed record "WE" just got.  Hey sponsors(and of course hot flashes) you know you want to pay for this endeavor so contact asap because spots are filling up.

Well the whoo train is coming got to go.

cyclepub

GRANT
(Vanessa has nothing to do with this post)

**WAIVER!** (Now let me start by stating that I could never climb the nose as fast or do half the things these "speed demons" do.  Hans is I'm sure a awesome guy and if this ever gets back to him, I hope he gets that I can't do what he can do.  It's not jealousy that has created this post but just observation.) I suck at multi pitch climbing and while I can use all the equipment and have used some aiders in my day (mostly for route setting or belaying) I legit would not be able to change belays that fast or any of the other shenanigans that they do.  Hell, I get scared 3 feet above a cam so how could I go half a pitch? Plus widget blocks and springy things are heavy and I am lazy.  Long story short the only way I'm getting my lame ass up that monolith anywhere near as fast as these dudes is to get pulled up.

Decisions, Decisions

I was born and raised in Bend Oregon, but it is not where I feel that I grew up.  I feel that the place I called home for most of my adult life is the great town of Fort Collins, Colorado.  While living in Fort Collins I experienced everything a so called adult can ask for.  I bought a house, went to school, got married, got divorced, made many mistakes and made many a friend.  I consider the people I know from there as some of the greatest people in my life.  The community that I developed over a seven year period is something I cherish and I wish I could see them more often.  Then why don't you live there still you might ask?

Monkey face high line.  Pretty ugly backdrop!

There are many reasons for me moving back to my home town.  One of the largest reasons was family.  I had not lived in the same area as my family for so long that I lost track of cousins, grandparents etc.  A few weeks back it was my grandmas 90th birthday and it confirmed that my decision was for the best.  I was able to introduce Vanessa to my extended family and see many people I hadn't seen for years.  It's always hard to say bye for now to one set of friends and try to make new ones, but family outweighed everything and I made the leap to come back home.

Spring trail day at Smith Rock

With my family close, I have now found a new group of friends to hangout with.  Smith Rock is the local hang and climbing is the game.  The community here is small yet very tight.  Everyone knows each other and trys there best to support the best they can.  This community uses all means neccesary to support other climbers.  A good case in point is that I've never been around a group of folks that are more internet savy.  If you or anyone you know sends something at Smith its almost a guarantee it will be all over Facebook before you even get back to the car.  They are also some of the more sarcastic people I've met anywhere.  I guess it is hard to takes ones climbing too serious when the local area is known as a vertical mud pile. And generally has sand bag grades and very painfull climbing.

Ryan Palo before the send on Just do it

Ian Caldwell "the mayor"  doing trail work

  What does all this mean? I'm not a philosopher by any means, but I think it means that we should embrace change. I love the people that are far to many to count from the Front Range community, but embracing family and new found situations I have found a new group of people to call a community. As they say "if you could have your cake and eat it to" then I would have both communities here to hang with. I'd also be fat if I ate all the cake, so who knows... and i dont like fat so i guess i cant have both. Damn quotes and them screwing my strength to weight ratio!!!!!!  THE END

Racking up for the big rig

JPA "bouldering"

Central oregon bouldering antics

Kirk showing the arsenal of uppers and downers
you must have to boulder here

My sister and Mom

Pops and Brandon

The Ortman clan on my Grandmas 90th

Grandpa Don stylish as always.

Grandma listening to my niece and cousins
play for her bday.

Games with the fam.

What Would Daisy Do?

For a couple months now, I have been dealing with some sort of complex that keeps me from climbing at my full potential.  I insist on top roping everything, being the follower on complicated-to-clean routes, and somehow my initial fear of falling has come back in full force.  How did I get to this point again?!  I haven't taken any scary falls and I haven't seen any crazy accidents, so how did I get here?

After working hard on two projects last winter, Latest Rage and Watt's Tots, I realized that I did not like projecting.  I wanted to climb routes that I could send quick, so obviously I didn't try anything where I would have the potential to fall.  Of course I would develop a complex and poor Grant has to deal with me being super nervous before a hard route or always hearing me talk about wanting to climb harder.

Full Overboard 11d.  Photo by Neighbor and Brofriend Ryan Palo

Saturdays and a couple night sessions here and there are Grant and my days to climb together.  Grant has been such a supportive climbing partner for the last year and wants me to succeed probably as much as I want him to.  He puts me in my place when I get scared and makes me feel comfortable to know that he will try to protect me as much as he can.  He is the first person I tell about a send and usually has flowers waiting for me when I get home to show how proud of me he really is.  I am truly grateful to have met such a caring man.

Grant and I, we just recently celebrated our ONE year! 

But that being said, I recently found a new crew of partners who climb with me almost every Tuesday, as some in the park have deemed as "Girls' day".  Andi has Justin, Cristina has Drew, and I, of course, have Grant, but Tuesday is the day where we can finally sack up and figure out how to put up our own ropes.

Photos of us and our significant others.  Photos are from Facebook!

It's been so inspiring climbing with these two women.  We all have our own strengths, movement, support, and awe of back muscles.  These days are full of pitches, laughs, and try hard, there is no judgement and all support.  It's incredibly awesome to climb with Andi and Cristina and I hope that Girl's day happens for a long time.

Drew Peterson poaching in on Girl's day!  Check out Drew and Cristina's blog here.

    One Tuesday, I watched a girl I had recently met during my trip to Bishop, named Daisy, climb Magic Light.  It was apparent this climb was at her max and she had so much try hard, which made it inspiring to watch.  She screamed, she fell, she conquered her way to the top, not once saying "Take."  Ugh.  I miss climbing like that.  I have decided to make my personal climbing motto, "What Would Daisy Do?"  Plus, she had a sick pair of pants that I could never forget.

So with some subconscious encouragement from Daisy, I recently had a mental climbing breakthrough!  I finally got the courage to lead Full Heinous, with a bunch of pushes from Grant of course.  After taking a fall that was long enough to scream twice, I think I am finally back on the horse.  I came to ground saying, "That was exhilarating!" I am confident that I am back on track to finish up my Goal for the year!

Another photo by Ryan Palo.  He is getting pretty good at this btw.

Recap:

-Latest Rage 12b (check),

-Watt's Tots 12b (check),

-Latin Lover 12a (check),

-Doritos 12c,

-Full Heinous 12c,

-Cool Ranch 12a (check),

-Vision 12b,

-Energy Crisis 12b (check),

-Take a Powder 12a,

-Crack Babies 12b,

-Full Magic Light 12a,

-Made in the Shade 12c

I hope to climb into the 13 range this year as well