Tuesday, February 4, 2014

To all my ladies...

It's been a while....which is how most of our blogposts start, well, because it has.

It's hard to write about something when you feel as if you have nothing to talk about.

Here is a little summary of what's happened since we last posted:

I went on a trip to Bishop with the Bend Endurance Academy.
The kids.

I went on a trip to Vegas with Julie and Brescia.

Brescia, Julie, and I on top of Lotta Balls in Red Rocks Canyon.

Grant went to South Dakota with his friend Geoff.

I went on a semi-solo trip to Wyoming.
Kate and I in Wyoming.

I came home and had the best summer of my life with Kat, a few horses, and a lot of wine.

Kat and I this summer!
Grant and I went on a trip to Vegas, then I went back a month later to climb with Kat.

Kat in Vegas, photo by Rick Scharf
I moved to Portland, started school, and now we are here...

But of course, this is not what I want to talk about.

Here in Portland, I have had a lot of time to reflect since Grant is still in Bend and I don't currently have a job or a lot of things going on.  I have been thinking about the relationships that I have developed over the past few years and all the inspiring women that I have had the pleasure of being around, laughing, crying, baking, singing, pouring my heart out to.  

Natalie, Crystal, and I after the first night we all hung out together. Ryan Palo photo

Everywhere I move to (and I move a lot), I feel like I can at least find one woman to connect to but never have I felt the overwhelming support from so many at once.  I always have a hard time connecting with women for some reason or another.  Maybe, in the past few years something finally clicked.  I have always heard about the importance of having girlfriends and blah, blah, blah but I have never understood that importance until now.  

Andi, Cristina, (Drew), and I on ladies day!

There is something about having a friend just look at you and you instantly start spilling your guts to them without them saying a word.

There is something about starting a friendship over Facebook that involves mostly baking recipes, deciding who is going to bring the wine, whose house you are going to destroy with flour, finding out that you will be baking with mostly camping gear, that we didn't buy enough marshmallow fluff and we'll need to figure out how if we can make it ourselves, or not reading the recipe and finding out we will need to hang out together for 6 hours in order for it all to get done.

Jess, my BPIC (baking partner in crime), being a bad ass as always!! Mark Postle photo.
Making marshmallow fluff.

There is something about being too afraid to call your friend, right after they move to Portland, because you're afraid you are going to suffocate them with your girl-love right away....Ellie. :)

I'm truly inspired by all the ladies in my life.  Whether it be them going to school, buying a house and getting married, facing difficult life decisions, dealing or being in relationships, climbing, or whatever they are doing!
Christina and I.

I just want to let all my ladies know that I love you, I miss you, I'm there for you, and I'm sorry that it took me so long to figure it out!!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

What would Vanessa Do? Take a break.

   Wow, it has been a while since there was a post that was even remotely interesting.  It has been really hard to write anything this year and it's almost halfway done!

I was going to post a follow up on my 2012 goals a few months back but I was bummed that I didn't meet them.  Let's just say last year was hard.

Here is a recap on what those goals were:

Got sick, three days later ended up with legwarmers

-Latest Rage 12b (check),
-Watt's Tots 12b (check),
-Latin Lover 12a (check),
-Doritos 12c (sent May 2013),
-Full Heinous 12c (check),
-Cool Ranch 12a (check),
-Vision 12b,
-Energy Crisis 12b (check),
-Take a Powder 12a,
-Crack Babies 12b,
-Full Magic Light 12a,
-Made in the Shade 12c (crazy hard)
I hope to climb into the 13 range this year as well
So that makes six on this list, not included but sent was:  Planet Mechanic 12a, A Day in the Wife 12a (Riggins, ID), and Liquid Jade 12b = 9 routes.  

Shortly after this post was written up, I lost complete motivation, which is ironic since it was about being inspired!  I practically took the entire summer off of climbing and found something new, motivating, and helped me work out in a fun way.
Aerial silks took me away for 3 months - thru the Bend Circus Center

I came back feeling better than ever.  That break was necessary for me to bring back the psych.
Then came winter, I am a huge wuss when it comes to being cold.  So then I discovered Hot Yoga in January!  After a 3 month break with a fill in of yoga, climbing just felt good again which came just in time because it seemed like every other week I was going away for some trip somewhere.
Locust pose after 2 months of hot yoga!
Needless to say, taking a break every now and again has been very good for me and I encourage the same for others who get burnt out on whatever they are doing.


Next time:  Bishop and Vegas!

Thursday, February 21, 2013


Hah!  I found these awesome photos from a while ago today when I was looking for photos to redesign this bland blog, just thought I would share.

"Everybody pretend you got dip in yo mouf" - Grant Ortman

These are from one of my favorite First Fridays that Grant and I attended with friends, Jason Karn and Ryan Palo.  Location:  Cowgirl Cash which happens to be our favorite place to visit during this event!

Eventually, Grant will come back in true ranting form...I hope!!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Nothing's going on...

Grant's birthday is coming up, other than that nothing's really happening at the moment.

I just thought I would share a depressing moment the other day.

Here is my screenshot.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Billem Wecker - a Man, a Myth, a Legend

Vanessa here,

It's been a while since we posted anything.  

Currently, Grant's best friend Will is in town and I have noticed quite the love-hate relationship with them.  Mostly love.  It's adorable.  Will has been in Boston for quite some time now and let us know that his lack of fitness due school was in full effect and to recommend some short "Rumneyesk*" style routes so that he is not completely shut down.  Grant ignored his request, thus putting Will on routes requiring a 70 meter rope in the park.  Will was beginning to question his friendship with Grant and I of course got to laugh at both of their expense.

It appears that Will's payback towards Grant was to heckle (in front of Grant's "homies") and convince him that for $60 to shave his hair into a mullet.  Grant being the man that I know at least, never backs down from a challenge. 

For example, the Cinnamon challenge* here:

Granted, at this point he might have accepted the challenge to impress me...who knows.

God, I love him but he sure is silly sometimes.
Willem goes home tomorrow.  Grant and I are both pretty sad about it but hopefully he will come back soon. *cough to live here cough*

Rumneyesk - climbing routes that are shorter than 50 feet...very uncommon for Smith Rock.

Cinnamon challenge - take a tablespoon of cinnamon and try to eat it without drinking water.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Not so Disposable

I love a good disposable camera, I love it when memories flash before your eyes at a moments notice because you are reminded that that moment was captured.  I'm like a kid in a candy store, barely able to contain my excitement when opening my yellow envelope containing my forgotten moments.  I can hardly make it out the door without shouting at Grant, "Ha!  Look at this!!"

I just recently got a camera developed, here are some pictures.


What is awesome about this photo is how hard it was for Daniel to be away from Rachel.  Even though we were out doing something we all loved, he insisted on making her apart of the experience.

Julie, Daniel, and Rachel (on phone) 

Grant, Chris Sinatra, Aaron Tague, and Josh Duda have been friends for more than a decade, it definitely becomes some sort of a spectacle when they all get together.

Climbing at Smith and climbing in general:  

This was captured just moments after my send of Full Heinous!

Classic "Vanessa Pose" by Grant and Ryan!

Thats all for now!  Now off to Riggins!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Shaking it up!

I feel this blog has gone soft!  It's titled Grant Rants and Vanessa Listens so where have all the rants been?  Did they take a wrong turn at Albuquerque?  Have I gone soft?  Am I living a life where there are no complaints and nothing to truly rant about?

Even though I have a great life I seriously doubt I have nothing to complain about.  There are things I see everyday that I rant about and tear down for one reason or another.  The problem is I forget what it was that I was ranting about before I get back to the computer... Well times have changed and I remembered for once.


Yuji and Hans (photo from google)
OK, I'm assuming that anyone that looks at climbing magazines or web sites has heard the news about the latest speed ascent of the nose in Yosemite CA.  It's something that is seriously an endeavor that I could not do.  Personally it would be amazing if I could get up the nose in a day and I would consider it a lifetime accomplishment.  I by no means think I could do what these people do, but none the less I must fit the name of this blog and rant properly. Anyway after that on to the rant portion of this blog post

Hollywood Hans Florine.  Isn't he from the bay area? How the hell did he get the Hollywood nick name?   Shouldn't it be more like Haight Ashbury Florine or Golden Gate Florine?  The nick name overall isn't my biggest complaint though.  My biggest complaint involves the fact that no one seems to promote quite like Hans for these speed ascents, but no one has ever recruited as well as Hans.

I'm pretty sure I could get up the nose in around eight hours flat if I tied a rick shaw to the back of Alex Honnold and told him to pull my happy ass up the face.  I could be drinking a mojito while getting pulled up the changing corners. Yuji Hiryama can probably do a one arm while freeing the great roof while I jug up the rope behind him.  Basically Hans I feel has been brilliant in his choice of partners for this glorified boat race.  He has chose the best yet somehow takes most of the credit.

Now its a call to arms.  How about this idea.  I convince Yuji and Alex to team up and work on the speed record.  During there training I get super emaciated on a all mineral water and saltine diet(only rinse the water and never drink since water is heavy).  On the day of the ascent I strap my emaciated ass to the back of Alex(of course there will be a Grant change over half way to where I will be on Yuji's back, don't want one of them to get to tired) and spur there fit crack climbing strong mo asses up the wall.  During said ascent I will constantly be tweeting, facebooking, myspacing,carrier pigeoning(i think I made up a word),  calling randoms, and also of course cheering my chariots on.  Once we get to the top of course I will take credit for the awesome sauce speed record "WE" just got.  Hey sponsors(and of course hot flashes) you know you want to pay for this endeavor so contact asap because spots are filling up.

Well the whoo train is coming got to go.

(Vanessa has nothing to do with this post)

**WAIVER!** (Now let me start by stating that I could never climb the nose as fast or do half the things these "speed demons" do.  Hans is I'm sure a awesome guy and if this ever gets back to him, I hope he gets that I can't do what he can do.  It's not jealousy that has created this post but just observation.) I suck at multi pitch climbing and while I can use all the equipment and have used some aiders in my day (mostly for route setting or belaying) I legit would not be able to change belays that fast or any of the other shenanigans that they do.  Hell, I get scared 3 feet above a cam so how could I go half a pitch? Plus widget blocks and springy things are heavy and I am lazy.  Long story short the only way I'm getting my lame ass up that monolith anywhere near as fast as these dudes is to get pulled up.